Rather than a deep, lengthy theological essay for this week’s post, I’d like to share some thoughts inspired by a recent conversation with my best friend around some cultural trends for which he and I (both 33 years of age) are sadly too old to enjoy.

Hopefully you will receive this list of four trends as a humorous and lighthearted look at pop culture and no one takes it seriously enough to be offended. In other words, it’s a joke, people.

So here they are. These are four actions or fashions in which I really do wish I could participate, but unfortunately, being on the very leading edge of the Millennial generation, I just missed out.

Bathroom Mirror Selfies

I really wish I had a deeper understanding of why this is the case, but I just can’t figure it out. It just is. Any help from cultural anthropologists, sociologists, or psychologists is much appreciated. If you are in your 20’s or younger, then snap away, and you’re simply putting your new tank/haircut/baby bump/snapback/etc. on display through social media. If you are 30 or older, however, it’s awkward and borderline creepy. Why? No idea. Same mirror, same bathroom, same outfit, and still doesn’t matter. It’s just age alone. Residential or public? Both still exclude anyone over 30.

Skinny Jeans

Obviously this does not apply to females. This is a male-only situation. I’ve always advocated for a “less is more” approach to clothing. Keep it tight. And now the opportunity is greater than ever considering you don’t have to bother with the “french roll” to manage the extra length of your jeans, because there is no extra. I often fantasize about being able to don some skin tight Levi’s over Chukka boots or even tucked into the latest Lebron’s. But alas, no can do over 30. Actual rock stars, as has always been the case, are also exempt from this restriction.

Shaved and Long Hair on the Same Head

My buddy is particularly baffled by this one. He sees it all the time because he works at one of the hippest workspaces on earth and it rocks his world. I get it though. It’s the new mullet. Low maintenance around the ears. Wavy freedom up top. I like it. I wish I could participate, but without the proper de-ageing equipment, it will always remain a dream.

Quarter Length Socks (with Sneakers OR Sandals)

Allow me to sound like a curmudgeon for just a moment. This one totally baffles me. When I was a teenager and on into early adulthood, you did not allow people to see your socks. If you were wearing sneakers, it was ankle socks or no socks. No question. The only time sandals with socks were allowed was following an athletic event when you could slide into a pair of soccer sandals from your cleats for the ride home. Today, thanks mainly to Nike Elites, the quarter length sock is a must for anyone under the age of 30. Personally, I know this does not work for someone my age from experience. I tried it and my (fortunately) honest wife told me I looked like a grandpa immediately. As usual, she saved me big time!

Flannel and plaid? Totally fine. V-Necks? Rad. Dark, thick framed glasses? Yep. All of these can easily be pulled off by people of all ages. There’s just something about the four trends above that pump the brakes at age 30.

Does this mean that people must come to a halt with these trends when they reach 30? Or, being acceptable for those who are younger today, will they continue to be so as the current spring chickens mature? Remains to be seen.

What are some current popular trends that you wish you could join in, if only you were just a bit younger? Or, unlike me, have you not yet come to terms with the fact that you are no longer younger?